This week I am proud to include a Character Interview of Iffy Magic’s very own Zenaides by Sadie St. Elle-Maid of the Faerie Era, the premier news folio in the Faerie Vale.
St. Elle-Maid: It’s not often that I have the distinct dishonor of interviewing a pernicious pixie. How do you take your tea, one lump or two?
Zenaides: No sugar, thank you. A pinch of dried hemlock will do nicely. And 'pernicious pixie’ is a rather droll term, don’t you think? “Wicked fairy” suits me just fine.
St. Elle-Maid: As a thoroughly vile wicked fairy, how many mortals have you hexed? And what is your favorite method of hexing; toad, frog or newt?
Zenaides: Not to brag—that’s a hexable vice, after all—but I must admit that I lost count after the first hundred or so. Over the centuries, I’ve found myself growing weary of the common amphibious spell. I’ve recently started experimenting with fowl play in a group hexing; “duck, duck goose” is my current favorite.
St. Elle-Maid: Fascinating. And when did you first realize your destiny as a nefarious foe of good fairy godmothers everywhere?
Zenaides: Oh, some ages ago . . . I think there was a princess. Mine, actually! But she had the heart of a viper and I had the temper of a dragon, and, well—enough about dull little old me. I only agreed to this interview because I wished to meet the foolish nitwing who cast slanderous aspersions on Primrose Goodwing.
St. Elle-Maid: Aspersions? I never—
Zenaides: I believe you accused "Little Miss Pixie Perfect" of employing forbidden dark magic to create the notorious glass slippers.
St. Elle-Maid: I was only repeating my sources. My readership deserve the absolute, unvarnished truth—
Zenaides: Malicious gossip you fanned to a bonfire! You should be ashamed of your shoddy exposé. I count Miss Goodwing as my particular acquaintance and can state with unequivocal candor that she is an upstanding pixie who could go far as a wicked fairy. Very far.
St. Elle-Maid: Oh really? Do tell us her wretched secret!
Zenaides: There’s nothing secret about it. I knew from the moment that we crossed wands that Primrose has a rebel spark in her. She won’t let nonsensical notions of the proper way to be a fairy godmother get in the way of—
St. Elle-Maid: Wait, you two dueled? Who won?
Zenaides: I know I said that I rarely indulge in the classical hexes anymore, but I do believe a toad hex will suit you well. The warts do wonders.
St. Elle-Maid: Don’t be coy now. You’re clearly avoiding my question.
Zenaides: Am I, poppet? Why not try out my hex for a day and then guess who won.
St. Elle-Maid: I’ve been a toad twice this month already; a unique hazard of my profession, I’m afraid. Might I try something a little more exotic this time, perhaps an “aardvark”?
Zenaides: Intriguing! As you wish.
After a brief stint flirting with dark magic as a ghost mime, Sadie St. Elle-Maid earned her Silver Quill chronicling the mysterious mass evaporation of cloud ponies over Mirage Desert. She has headed the Character Interview section of the Faerie Era for two centuries now and is widely regarded as the supreme expert of hexological pathologies.