Monday, March 4, 2024

The Best Part of You

My mom struggled with health issues ever since I could remember, but she passed away quite suddenly sixteen years ago. I don't know that I will ever get over the shock of waking up the next morning and realizing I would never, ever see her again in this life. Since then, more people dear to me have also passed on. Sometimes I wonder what it means to go on trying to create poems, stories, and art that I will never be able to share with them, but then I cherish words I saved from an old Juno account message my mom sent me while I was in college:

"Take care, and follow your dreams. They are the best part of you." 

I want to honor her belief in me, in whatever small way I can. Our beautiful Earth is full of ecological disasters, and societal struggles and divisions, and I wonder sometimes in all this noise if my little drop of life/ink has any more meaning than the splatter of a rain drop on hard asphalt. Maybe not. Or maybe the meaning is solely up to me. Perhaps, the echo of those who loved us still pushes us towards being our best selves today.   

I'm working on two sci-fi projects this year that I'm really excited about! I know they aren't truly important in the grand scheme of things, but these stories make me intensely happy, and when I finally share them with you . . .  I hope they'll make you smile, too. 

Stay tuned for more musings from the far side of my mind.




Thursday, February 1, 2024

Ink Dreams: Blooming Versus Planting Seasons

When a woman becomes a lady of a certain age, the algorithms on her social media feeds mysteriously shift. They start bombarding her with inspiring mantras about how age is not a barrier against dreams, and talent and passions can still be pursued and developed to their fullest before one perishes from this earthly realm. For example, I discovered that Vera Wang didn't start designing wedding gowns until 40 (for the record, I absolutely adore Vera Wang's designs).

Since I began writing novels over two decades ago, I've had my share of highs and lows. You lose more than you ever knew you had in confidence as the years roll by. . . and yet, you keep going. It will be so lonely at times, but your soul will still echo with stories, and the ink won't stop running in your veins. Sometimes rushing like a river, other times just a trickling rivulet. As a storyteller, it is both exhausting and exhilarating to acknowledge that I still have so much more to learn!

However, I can't truly do that unless I destroy my previous aspirations. I have to let go of the starry, wide-eyed dreams of the girl I was in my twenties. We don't even share the same wishes anymore, really. I need to keep to myself more, avoid being swept up in the Narcissus mirror of social media, and take time to sit down and shut up and just listen to my own heart for awhile. I must start from the ground-up with my writing craft, and gather the grit of all my experiences, both the sweet scintillas and tired, bitter motes (my creative loam, so to speak). 

Why? Because I realized I am in a planting season. I recently watched a random video about how people get impatient when they wish to be in a blooming season, already reveling in the fruits of their labor, when they should concentrate on being fully present in their planting season instead. That's me now: I'm quite firmly rooted in a planting season. An extremely looonnnggg planting season! 

Hopefully, one day, my ink will bloom into a flower worthy of your wonder . . . 

 



Monday, January 8, 2024

Locket and Clover

When I was a very little child, someone gave me a Valentine's Day card in school. I absolutely loved the two girls with frilly dresses and luxurious hair pictured on the card. I didn't know back then that they were "Maiden CurlyCrown" and "Maiden FairHair" from the Lady Lovely Locks series, so I called the golden-haired girl "Locket," and the brunette, "Clover."

I would make up imaginary adventures for them, and even after I lost the worn-out card, I never forgot them. Neither did my mother! Many years later, my mom gave me a birthday card with two regal golden and brunette-haired ladies, and told me it was "Locket and Clover all grown up." 

This made me super happy, and I framed the second card and took it with me through repeated moves. 

Well, 2024 started out with a stelliferous surprise! Thanks to a random Facebook post on the Lovely Locks series that led me to Etsy...I found them. The original card that inspired my Locket and Clover daydreams.

It's a wonderful, rare thing to rediscover a little childhood magic!